Several of you know or at least have heard of - whether you will admit it or not - Jeff Foxworthy, the “You Might Be a Redneck” guy.
Well, I’ve decided to give all this a New York “My Wired Style” spin. So here goes.
You might be D-wired if:
- Your emails consist of two- to three-word sentences and no more than three lines, composed while talking on your cell phone as you speed through rush hour in New York City. If you blow the horn more than three times per minute, you might be D-wired.
- Your favorite vehicle is a black Hummer with an air horn.
- You think speed limits are impediments to your success.
- You want your double latte-latte "yesterday" with no chit-chat.
- You breeze through a crowd, and in five minutes, you’ve formed an army and launched an all-out assault to solve all the world’s problems. Hmmm…if they call you “general”, you might be D-wired.
- You have 57 projects done before the other wired folks wake up, and you are glad to point that out to them when they arrive at the office.
- Your favorite song is, “I Did It My Way.”
You might be I-wired if:
- Your emails have more than 25 exclamation points!!!
- Your favorite vehicle is a neon green convertible with sparkling lights around the license plate and a surfboard hanging off the back!!!
- You think speed limit signs are a cool color!! and you really like the thrill of those flashing lights in your rearview mirror because that means you’re about to meet a new person!!
- You are in line at the coffee shop chatting with the cashier and holding up the D-wired person’s latte-latte!!
- You never breeze through the crowd – you are always at the center!!!
- You generate 57 ideas an hour – about as fast as you drive through the city streets – and change gears and lanes so much it makes the man in the car with the flashing lights dizzy!!
- Your favorite song is, “Fun Fun Fun”.
You might be S-wired if:
- Your emails are concise and well-organized with 3-5 bullet points.
- Your favorite vehicle is a neutral colored four-door practical and dependable sedan.
- You are annoyed at the D- and I-wired drivers who are driving like maniacs, but you will not make eye contact with them for fear they’ll run you off the road.
- You take your coffee mild with cream and sugar and take time to say a friendly, “Good morning” to the cashier, who senses your sincerely caring manner and begins to tell you her life story. This is a GREAT annoyance to the D-wired person in line behind you who STILL just wants that double latte-latte STAT.
- You pretend to be invisible and walk around the crowd on your way to a quiet corner.
- You have a simple plan for 57 projects and will assemble a team to get them done at the pace of one per day for the next 57 days.
- Your favorite song is, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.
You might be C-wired if:
- Your emails are four pages long and contain every conceivable detail, a complete history and analysis, and a spreadsheet to back up every possible scenario that could occur related to the subject.
- Your favorite vehicle is blue, high quality, practical, and paid for.
- You drive precisely at the speed limit and do not appreciate those D- and I-wired drivers who do not comply with the rules.
- You take your coffee strong and black, fresh ground, and served at the precise temperature. Cold coffee will have you standing at the counter debating the proper technique for coffee preparation with the cashier, much to the consternation of the D-wired customer who is now about to get in that black Hummer and run over your high-quality paid-for car.
- You avoid the crowd altogether and go sit in a corner to read the business section of the newspaper, studying the stock market report with great intrigue.
- You have a plan to plan for those 57 projects. And when your plan to plan is perfected, you will review it one more time, and then decide you need a better plan.
- Your favorite song is Beethoven’s “5th Symphony”.
If you exhibit any of these symptoms,
you may need professional help.
Please contact your local
"My Wired Style" professional immediately.
Oh, and bring that double latte-latte with you STAT!