Acting Like A Two Year Old?

Have you ever been around a cranky two-year-old?

Have you ever acted like a cranky two-year-old yourself?

I think we can all answer a resounding, “Yes!” to those two questions, for sure.

The thing about a two-year-old is that he or she has a little trouble communicating. And a two-year-old hasn’t fully developed the ability to reason things through to a point of resolution. So what you end up with is an unfiltered display of frustration.

As a parent, how do you deal with the frustration?

You assess the situation to determine the underlying issue, and then you deal with that.

If the child is tired, you as the reasonable adult put him down for a nap. If the child is hungry, you feed him. If the child is trying to do something beyond his physical abilities, which is often the case with a toddler, you help him just enough to enable him to do it. If the child is in need of attention, you take a few minutes and give him the attention he needs. You get the idea. Sometimes the child just needs to be still and quiet in order to regain his composure. And sometimes he needs some discipline.

The bottom line is, frustration is a sign that something needs to be fixed.

So if, as an adult, you find yourself feeling frustrated (and maybe even acting a bit like a two-year-old), stop and ask yourself, “What needs to be fixed?”

Are you…

Hungry?
Tired?
Overextended?
Trying to do something that doesn’t fit?
In need of some attention / connection with people?
In need of quiet time to regain your composure?
In need of some discipline and structure?

Maybe your answer is "all of the above". That would be a serious danger zone.

There’s something I’ve observed: a two-year-old cannot be ignored. I mean, really, we can try. But in the end, the toddler will not be ignored. You dear frazzled parents know exactly what I’m talking about here.

But we also cannot ignore that frustrated toddler within our adult selves that is screaming out because something isn’t right. We try to pacify, placate, ignore, and downplay it. But you know what? It’s there. And it’s there for a reason. It is a wonderful sign that something needs to be addressed.

Is your two-year-old self showing up at work?

Find an adult (we call them coaches at our age) to help you identify the underlying reason and resolve the issues. Maybe your work or part of it just doesn’t fit. Maybe your work shoes are on the wrong feet. You can fix that.

Is your two-year-old self sporting dark circles under the eyes and whining endlessly?

Do yourself and the world a favor, and go take a nap. Yes, you have my permission.

Is your two-year-old self stuck on saying, “I’ll do it myself?”

Well, guess what. We couldn’t do it then, and we can’t do it now. Get some help.

Is your inner child tugging at your sleeve, trying to get your attention? Don’t ignore him or her. Find out what he or she is trying to tell you – there’s a lesson to learned and a blessing to be found.

The two's - well - maybe they're not so terrible after all!

Is your two-year-old out of control?

Join me on our next call!

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Comment by Ann Musico on February 27, 2012 at 7:44am: Wow Deb - perfect analogy and so right on!! I can't imagine anyone who cannot relate to this - whether they have children or not. We all were children at one time! As a mom of 3 - it really resonates with me. Beautifully said!